By Barbara Smith, EFT Master
Do you know that, with a little tapping, you can increase the effectiveness of nearly every self-help skill you have ever used? When you use EFT you don’t need to give up all the tried and true techniques you have already mastered. Just add a little tapping to the mix, and you can create change more easily, and faster, than ever before.
You can calm down quickly, when faced with a family crisis
Tapping to reduce upset and anger is simple, and is something that each of us can do for ourselves. Does any aspect of your child’s behaviour raise feelings of helplessness, rage, frustration, or despair? Tap to calm your own feelings first, and you will discover how much easier it is to stay calm and relaxed as you respond to your child. Here is how one family tapped their way through a crisis, when their six year old became seriously withdrawn after being sexually violated.
The first task was for the parents to learn how to tap, so that they could free themselves from their pain, outrage, and helplessness. They chose their own words, and tapped through several versions of the following setup phrase:
Even though I am furious/upset/horrified/outraged that he did ____ to my boy, I choose to stay calm and relaxed anyway.
The set up phrases that we then used with the child were very simple, and incorporated the child’s own words.
Even though he did ____ and I couldn’t stop him, I know I’m a good kid.
Even though he was my friend and then he hurt me, Mum and Dad love me very much.
In the follow-up session I was greeted with “We’ve got our boy back!” as his Dad shared his delight and relief, at the way his traumatised six year old had returned to his normal happy self.
Is it always that easy? Does it really happen in just one session? No, but every first session I have ever done in a situation like this has taken the edge off the distress, enough for people to regain their hope and start to heal.
Family life can be more enjoyable than ever before
I like to introduce a little tapping game for parents to use with their children. They resolve a range of issues such as fears and phobias, tantrums, night terrors, problems with eating, school aversion; even biting fingernails. Families who tap together in this way build a pattern of tapping that will make life more peaceful and enjoyable. One parent reported with great satisfaction, that she had been on the edge of losing her temper, as she struggled to belt her three children into the car in a rain storm, when her pre-schooler piped up. “Mommy, I think you should do your tapping…”
Take your EFT skills to the Doctor
EFT is totally portable. Over time, people of all ages have told me how they have tapped themselves out of both real, and irrational fears that pop up around going to the doctor. Many of us carry shame and discomfort around our fear of needles, MRI Scans, and various invasive medical procedures. Often these things can be resolved with a little tapping in only one session. You can also tap at home for all of these issues. Are you uncomfortable about telling your doctor that you tap? What if you listed all those things you imagine your medical practitioner might be thinking, if you told him of your fears. What if you tapped on all those concerns before you go? Include issues that relate to your health, or body image. Do you get embarrassed talking about these things? What do you imagine the Doctor might think if you started to do this weird tapping stuff right there in the consulting room? A little tapping beforehand will keep you calm and relaxed, and you may be surprised to discover that you and your Doctor understand each other much better than ever before.
Recover fast from injury
Tapping can help your body heal. When some part of your body is injured, tense, or you are not regaining full mobility after an injury, EFT may bring relief from pain and accelerate the healing process. Do you gain from your physiotherapy treatment, but find yourself ‘forgetting’ to keep up the exercises at home? Where does your resistance lie? Are you too busy? Is it boring? Does it hurt? Do you forget what you are supposed to do? You can tap for all these things. Be as specific as you can, and enjoy the results.
Free yourself from the effects of historical trauma
Most people who experienced childhood trauma avoid remembering and talking about these old events because they evoke the pain and fear as if it were happening now. This sometimes results in withdrawing from the family, or avoiding places, people and events that remind you of the past. You can tap whilst you recall any painful experience. At first, you may find this easier to do with an experienced EFT practitioner, who can help you remember the old upsetting event without re-experiencing the terror as if it were happening now.
Keep EFT in your First Aid Kit
Most of us, whether adults or children, are eventually witness to, or experience, an accident, injury or other frightening event that leaves us shaking, shocked, and horrified. This is an autonomic nervous system response that happens more quickly than we can think. Continuous tapping will quickly calm down adults, children and babies during or after any kind of traumatic event. Tapping can be the most important item in your emotional first aid kit. The first piece of emotional first aid is to tap continuously on whichever of the tapping points are within reach. If you are right in the middle of the crisis, you don’t need a setup statement: just keep tapping. And if you are a helpless and horrified bystander, tap for yourself, and for everyone else. Continue to tap for yourself later, until you can think about the incident without distress. Try it and see.
Barbara Smith, EFT Master
www.eft-newzealand.com
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